Figuring It Out…

Hey everyone,

So usually when I blog I have an Important Opinion I want to share. That’s sort of the point of writing. If you don’t have an opinion, then why put words on the page in the first place? And while, granted, my idea of important might include an evaluation of swoon-worthiness…

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Sorry, I lost my train of thought.

Oh, right. My point was that I care about these blog topics and add gifs and…you catch my drift.

But what you see is Marni Bates 2.0.

I am big on honesty. If I didn’t feel compelled to tell the truth, I can guarantee you that my autobiography would be a very different read. I totally would’ve written a very cool scene that’d involve choking someone with a spring roll. Because how much fun would that be to write?!

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All the fun!

Why am I bringing this up now? Well, I love the blog post I wrote about skipping a decade in my writing career. It was personal and honest and it came after a prolonged period of contemplation. And I can’t express how much I appreciated all of the comments that people posted. You guys are so incredibly sweet!

I may have mislead you though.

Oh, don’t get me wrong; I faithfully wrote about my road to publication. I just don’t want you to think that I have it all figured out.

Because I don’t.

I still feel like this half of the time:

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There is also a fair amount of truth to this…

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Franklin Delano Roosevelt famously said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

I still have mixed feelings about that quote.

Part of me wants to be like, Are you kidding me with this? How about unemployment and pollution and women’s rights and eternal spinsterhood and being discovered half-eaten by wild coyotes?! 

Some of those are legitimate concerns–I’ll let you decide which ones!

Funnily enough, when I was in high school I imagined that someday that quote would hit home for me. That I would nod sagely and say, “Why yes. Now that I have my life in order I understand that I indeed have nothing to fear but fear itself. Monsieur, I would like an order of your finest caviar!”

Nobody actually says that. At least nobody that I know.

Anyone who pretends to have everything under control, well, they are doing just that–pretending.

Parts of my life will always be in flux. I will always be a little messy, a lot rumpled, and undeniably…Marni. I make mistakes. Lots of them. I do my best to evaluate them and move on, but sometimes I question whether I have a learning curve or a flat-line.

So here is the truth, the full truth, and nothing but the truth–I don’t know what I am doing. I don’t know where I am going. I don’t know who I will be when I get there.

But I have very high hopes for the journey!

And while I have trouble relating to the aforementioned FDR quote, I’ve always loved this gem from Eleanor Roosevelt: Do one thing every day that scares you.

I’m excited to see where that advice takes me!

Much love,

Marni

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2 thoughts on “Figuring It Out…

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