February | 2017 | Marni Bates

Hey everyone!

So you might have noticed that I’ve been extra quiet lately. I haven’t been posting as much on social media or discussing my writing or—and I do feel truly guilty about this—responding to messages from my absolutely amazing fans.

I wish I had a good explanation that would justify all of this, but the truth is that I’ve been lost in my own head lately. And not in a fun, oooh-I-can’t-wait-to-write-this-scene way. Nope. I’ve been stuck in self-doubt internal panic mode for the past few months. I couldn’t bring myself to edit a project that I’m passionate about because fear kept me from even opening the file on my laptop.

I felt like I was stranded in the middle of a frozen lake, wearing tennis shoes with absolutely no slip-resistance, and thinking, “Uh oh. This doesn’t bode well. One wrong step and I’m going to land right on my butt. And then I’ll be sore and wet and cold and embarrassed and maybe I should just wait for the ice to melt.”

So I just stood there.

But the fear didn’t thaw. If anything, it grew even thicker. The list of tasks I wanted to complete grew longer and my embarrassment at my own lack of action made it that much harder to be productive. I bargained with myself. If you edit today, then you will be worthy of responding to the incredible readers who you somehow tricked into thinking that you are cool, and well, would a cool person accidentally scare a UPS deliveryman? No, because normal people don’t do that, Marni. You shouldn’t answer the door. You always make it weird. Like that time with the pizza delivery guy. Remember that? You opened the door and told him it was disappointing and then you rushed to say that he wasn’t disappointing—he’s probably very nice!—and no, you don’t actually have the cash because it’s not your pizza. Not that you are opposed to pizza. Quite the opposite, actually! Hence the disappointment.

Yeah, that wasn’t awkward or anything.

Mmmm…pizza. Okay, I’ll edit right after I make a little snack.

Except I kept making up distractions and excuses instead.

And I kept my mouth shut because I was afraid I might promise something that I couldn’t deliver.

That’s why I stalled on sharing my big news until right now. You see, I’m not actually going to spend the rest of February and the first half of March in Portland, Oregon.

I’m not even going to spend it in the United States of America.

I am writing all of this in the Seattle airport as I wait to board my flight to Southeast Asia. I’m embarking on a brand new adventure. One that right now feels equal parts exhilarating and terrifying.

I’m going to Vietnam. For three weeks.

I will be backpacking for three freaking weeks.

Did I mention that part of this backpacking trip will be spent climbing the highest mountain in Vietnam? Scratch that, I will be climbing the highest mountain in Indochina. Mt. FancyPants.

Okay, so technically it is called Mt. Fansipan. But whatever. It’s totally Mt. FancyPants.

And I will be climbing it.

I refuse to let fear control my life. I refuse to let self-doubt or the potential for public failure keep me from exploring what this incredible world has to offer.

I refuse to remain frozen on that stupid lake of ice.

I will be finished with these edits before I land in Hanoi, Vietnam. I will be better about responding to all of your messages, as long as I’m not…y’know…climbing a mountain. Or paddling a kayak around Halong Bay. Or…okay, let’s just accept that my Internet access might be a bit limited for the next few weeks. But I really do mean it!

This is Halong Bay! I can’t wait to see it in person!

And when I return to Portland, Oregon, I will be a FancyPants author at my very first Cedar Hills Powell’s book signing!

You can read a bit about the event here: http://www.powells.com/?startday=01-03-2017

(It will begin at 7pm on Monday, March 20th, 2017! I really hope I will see some familiar faces in the room because it is going to be a blast!)

I’m also very happy to share that my first KBOO radio interview with the incredibly sweet Bethany Grabow for her show Between the Covers will air on Thursday, February 23, 2017 from 11:00am to 11:30am!

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