Monthly Archives: May 2014

Marni Anecdote Monday: Pop-u-lar!

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Hey guys!

So something pretty hilarious happened at Barnes & Noble recently. I wandered throughout the store, grinning like a fool every time I spotted a familiar book. After half an hour of frolicking, I forced myself to stand in line at the checkout counter. That’s when the cashier asked if I wanted to donate a book to a child in foster care.

Me: Absolutely! Can I pick the book?

B&N Guy: Sure.

Me: Okay! I’d like to donate ‘Awkward’ by Marni Bates.

B&N Guy:  Barney…Barney…

Me: *tries not to flinch at elementary school nickname* Uh, no. Marni. Marrr-knee Bates.

B&N Guy: I’m sorry, I’m not seeing his books.
Me: Um, her books, actually. Are you sure?
B&N Guy: Yeah, I can’t find her.
Me: Did you try searching for ‘Awkward’?
B&N Guy: Yeah, I just checked. A-K-W-A–
Me: No. Awkward. As in…awkward. A-W-K-W-A-R-D.
B&N Guy: Uh, okay. I see it. Now I just need your name to complete the purchase.
Me: Um…Marni Bates.
LOOOOONG PAUSE.
B&N Guy: Oh. Well. This is awkward.
(Picture it like this)
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I laughed my whole way home.
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Happy Monday!
Awkwardly yours,
Marni

Marni Advice Monday: Cat’s Got My Tongue.

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Hey everyone,

My housemate’s cat passed away a few days ago and…I miss him. Hamlet was a devoted feline companion with a low rumbling purr and a weakness for belly rubs. I didn’t live with him long, only a handful of months–but he made an impression.

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And not just because he drooled on everything in my room.

Hamlet loved everyone. He was an incredible listener with a fondness for lazy afternoon snoozes and quiet evenings spent curled up on the sofa. He wasn’t crazy about my taste in music, or my tendency to dance around the room when he least expected it. Still, he accepted me as another one of his loyal human subjects with only a handful of reproachful meows.

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Worship me, Human! Earn your keep!

So here is my advice for today: Pet a cat. Hug a dog. Snuggle with a parakeet.

If you’ve got a snake…um, GET RID OF IT!

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They are the worst.

Nothing beats unconditional love. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have found that with Hamlet, even if it didn’t last nearly long enough. I hope you have some of that in your life, too! Oh, and I still recommend those lazy afternoon naps…

*Crawls back under the covers*

Awkwardly yours,

Marni