Marni on Safari!

Hey everyone,

I am in Africa! That’s right: I took all of my finals at Lewis & Clark College early so that I could go on vacation with my family. So now I’m in Kenya and even though I’m exhausted, I will do my best to fill everyone in on my most recent ridiculous adventures.

I guess I should begin with my very up close and personal experience with some giraffes on my very first day in Nairobi.

There was some serious kissing!

Let me explain: giraffes love food pellets so much that as long as you put one in your mouth (and keep your lips firmly closed) it’s like letting a dog lick your face. Except, you know…it’s a giraffe!

Apparently they have very sanitary mouths, which is excellent because I was slobbered all over. I enjoying it immensely and would highly recommend the experience. Definitely keep your mouth shut though.

Then the next day I went to a baby elephant orphanage and it was every bit as adorable as it sounds. I got to pet baby elephants–one of which was only four weeks old.

And then my whole family piled into two jeeps and bounced around on rocky roads for five hours until we reached Masai Mara (where I am currently writing this post). It’s gorgeous here. Over 1000km of protected land where I have seen the warthogs and the antelope play. One of the biggest highlights for me was seeing a cheetah on the drive to the hotel. It was about seven feet away from me and without the aid of binoculars I could see every windblown tuft of hair on him. Or her…not too good at distinguishing genders yet. Another highlight was being surrounded by a herd of elephants and today I saw an endangered black rhino as well as a pride of lions!

The cuteness factor here is ridiculous. Even the baby warthogs have me cooing over them. I will prove it by uploading photos…eventually. In the meantime, if you want to follow my adventures I’ll be tweeting the highlights (MarniBates is my handle) at #MarniOnSafari.

I’m running out of Internet time but I’ll be sure to post more soon!



Birthday-ish Blog!

Hey everyone!

I am officially 22!!!!!

I had an absolutely fantastic birthday! Actually, I got the whole Birthday Celebration kicked off early with a visit from my mom. I showed her around Portland, which translates to the two of us wandering around looking at art and drinking copious amounts of Starbucks. My definition of a perfect day.


My lovely mom. Without her support, I wouldn’t have my writing career. Or, you know…life.

Then on my actual birthday I went out for dinner with some friends, which inevitably led us to Powells. And then when my friend Laura asked me to introduce her to the world of romance novels…well, things got a little crazy.

See, when I’m excited my Italian genes kick in and I can’t stop making sweeping hand gestures. Which is how I nearly smacked my friend Emily in the face.

To be fair: I was telling them about Tessa Dare’s latest, A Night to Surrender, which was unbelievably good. So when I was explaining about the sheep bombing, I might have gotten a bit overenthusiastic.

Fun side-story: I tweeted about how much I loved this book and then Tessa Dare tweeted me back. And I freaked out. I reacted like a twelve year old Justin Bieber fan at a concert. Lots of squealing. And then I stared at my Twitter screen and repeated, “I am not worthy.”

Erm, so I need to work on that. Otherwise when I eventually meet these authors at the RWA conference, it’s just going to be embarrassing.

Anyhow, I had a fantastic night out with my friends and I spent my birthday in a little cocoon of happiness.

So it was hard to go Isaac’s memorial service the next day…but I’m glad that I did. The service was absolutely beautiful. There were chess pieces surrounding the chapel and  near the end of the service everyone replaced them with a lit candle. So now I have a pawn dangling off my backpack and the memory of being surrounded by the glow of all those candles.

Best of all, I got a real sense of closure from the service. So it’s pretty much back to life as usual for me. Thank goodness!

Now I can focus on important things…like erm, Twitter?

Sigh. Sadly I think the correct response to that is actually “my Henry James thesis paper.”

Then again, I’m discussing (at length) the phallic imagery in Henry James’s The Portrait of a Lady so I don’t think it’s going to be as boring as I once feared. Plus now I can discuss male genitalia in public while pretending to be classy. Of course, I think I lost classy points when I grabbed a friend from class in the cafeteria and began crowing, “It’s a penis! I get it now! IT ALL MAKES SENSE! How did I miss that keys are codes for penises throughout the whole freaking novel?”

I’ll be sure to post my thesis here once it’s finished so I can try to redeem myself with all of you classy people.

Wow, Henry James was way cuter than I expected!

Although, after going to see David Sedaris I’m not so worried about my class-o-meter. I feel like as long as I don’t discuss people pooping in their hands, I’m doing okay. I have to say, I really dislike it when people say the crudest things they can think of for a cheap laugh. I’m generally not laughing if that’s all you’ve got.

I prefer really sophisticated humor, like tripping and food-related accidents.

And on that note, I need to get some breakfast!

More Later!



Life and Death Situation

Hey everyone!

(This is one of my darker blog posts but hang in there. I think it’s worth it.)

Two weeks ago I found out my friend Isaac was dead.

And I didn’t see it coming. Nobody expected it because it was a random accident that could happen to anyone at anytime. I still don’t know much beyond the fact that he was skateboarding in Portland and then…then he was in a hospital and he didn’t wake up.

Now you see him…now you don’t.

And when I was told via Facebook and clicked on his page and saw all those rest in peace messages, I didn’t believe it. I just stared at the screen and thought, wow, what a completely un-funny joke. 

Then I figured out it wasn’t a joke at all.

I didn’t know Isaac very long but he was an incredible human being. He tutored me every week for my Perspectives in Mathematics class last year. Well, that’s not entirely true. He had certain hours at the Math Skill Center and I memorized them because I knew Isaac would make even the most daunting of my assignments fun. Since I got an A- in the course, I can say with some confidence that Isaac worked miracles.

I think we became friends that first day when we played checkers on a torus. I oh-so-charmingly tried to psych him out and kept insisting that I was messing with his head.

Then I informed the professor that I was “kicking the T.A.’s ass!”

I miss Isaac.

I didn’t see him on a regular basis but I found it comforting to know that he was around. He was one of the good guys that redeemed his gender on the rare occasions when I felt bitter and cynical. So when I discovered my lovable safety net had been cut down, I didn’t know how to handle it.

Denial soon became a good friend of mine…until I moved into grief. Crying helped but it wasn’t enough. I needed a way to avoid the pain. That’s when I immersed myself in romance novels. Dozens of them.

Note to self: romance novels can’t actually raise the dead.

I’m doing better now, partly because I went to see one of the therapists on campus. I’m trying to be grateful that beyond the death of my grandpa this is the first loss I’ve ever experienced firsthand. What has helped me the most is my firm belief that Isaac now has the answers to all his questions about the universe. I keep repeating that to myself. And I think I’m handling the loss.

But it’s hard to get excited about my birthday when I know that his funeral will be the very next day.

I guess in a seriously messed up way, it’s a nice reminder that life and death are intimately connected. You know, if by “nice” I meant “terrifying, horrible, rip-your-heart-out nightmare” instead.

Still, I think it is important to live each day to the fullest.

So I’m trying to write again: something I’ve been struggling to do since he died. And I’m doing my very best to appreciate this extraordinary, precious, fragile existence of mine to the fullest extent.

I have a feeling Isaac would approve.

More later!


Catch Up!

Hey everyone,

Well…I’m back in school! In fact, I’ve been a bit distracted lately (mainly by school) which is why I’ve been a lazy blogger. But no longer, friends! Still, why don’t I recap?

So, I had an AMAZING time in Texas. One of the highlights was definitely riding around on the back of my cousin’s vespa. A guy in a Beamer even offered to race us (an offer I immediately accepted) so that was exciting. I also crashed a party at Rice University where the theme was: Don’t Mess with Texas.

They were foolishly giving out squirt guns and badges.

So naturally, my cousin and I were instantly armed combatants. Don’t worry, y’all: I kicked her ass.

Sort of.

Anyhow, one of the other highlights was spending time with my good friend Stephanie. I hadn’t seen her in roughly four years, so you could say this visit was long overdue. She decided I needed an authentic Texas experience.

Which led to this:

And then to this….


This is my best impression of sports spirit.

Anyhow, Texas was fantastic but it was a relief to escape the humidity. Portland is gorgeous right now and I definitely appreciated being able to walk outside without feeling like I just entered a sauna.

It really does feel good to be back. I’ll be sure to post pictures of my dorm room soon….once I clean it again.

And just when I thought life couldn’t get better at Lewis & Clark (because I’ve been able to see so many of my amazing, gorgeous, brilliant and talented friends) a special something arrived in the mail….


I have my Advanced Reader Copies (ARCs)!!!! They are so insanely beautiful that I couldn’t resist carrying a copy everywhere I went. Part of me felt like if it wasn’t in my hands at all time it would disappear.


Can you tell that I’m excited?

This leads me to a very exciting announcement: if you live in Portland, have a blog and are willing to pass on AWKWARD after you read it…you can have an ARC!

I know, there should be no strings attached. But I REALLY need help spreading the excitement of AWKWARD into the the blogosphere. And the Twitterverse. And Facebooklandia. So I’ll be sure to announce when AWKWARD hits NetGalley so that everyone can review it.

In the meantime: Portland people! Hit me up!

I have to admit: it’s pretty tough to beat out an ARC for exciting news but I am definitely looking forward to being the proud parent of three fish! Right now they are recovering from a fish disease called ick (I’m not making this up. At first I was tempted to tell the Fish Lady that I suffer from ick too. Primarily when people serve me food that I really don’t want to eat) but soon they’ll live with me!

I’ve set the aquarium up in anticipation.

And that’s about it for now. I should probably start my homework now…you know, since it’s due in 9 hours….

More later!


Odd Duck

Hey everyone!
It might surprise some of you to hear that I’ve gotten a reputation in Australia for being morbid. At first I thought it was unwarranted. I’m an absolute optimist. I’m the girl on the bus who merely smiles as the baby shrieks—and not because I’m imagining ways to shut her up. I choose to be entertained rather than annoyed. But my fellow classmates know that if we in any way discuss the seedy underbelly of society, I’m going to have some questions.
Okay, a lot of questions.
They thought it was funny when I asked our first lecturer if selling Aboriginal artifacts on the black market has the potential to make some serious cash.
They smiled indulgently when I asked our tour guide about how brothels were organized at the mines.
They shook their heads when I asked which creature in the mangrove swamps posed the greatest safety hazard.
And they traded knowing looks (and a few groans) when one particularly brave lecturer said that he welcomed all questions. No need to raise hands. Just shout them out.
So . . . yes, sometimes the screaming child and I both need to keep our mouths shut. I openly admit it. But I only ask questions when something captures my imagination. Once that happens I just have to know. Even if it means asking museum curators how the security of certain objects could be compromised.
I know! I just can’t help it.
So yesterday when I asked the museum expert if the Aboriginals wore anything particularly comfortable, it wasn’t meant to be awkward. It was just that . . . no way could dangling a humongous shell to cover up certain bodily bits be comfortable. Which explains why it was ceremonial and not for lounging. I understand now.
But apparently while I was pointing to the piece that had ahem, captured my attention, a member of my group pointed out the obvious:
“Marni asks the most awkward questions.” Beat. “I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud.”
To which my teacher responded, “Oh no. That’s what all of us were thinking.”
Which . . . okay, fair enough. My questions are weird. I get it.
And I wasn’t mad or offended when I heard about it. I’m sort of used to it, to be honest. I’ve heard a similar sentiment expressed throughout my life.
Except back in high school . . . and middle school . . . and elementary school I desperately wanted to blend in. If I could have swapped my life for someone else’s I would have done it. Absolutely. I probably wouldn’t have wanted to trade back. See, no matter how hard I try to act normal, I have always been the odd duck.
I’m the square block that looks at the round hole and says, “Um . . . not to be critical, but you know you’ve got the wrong piece, right?”
Even in elementary school. I was the one kid who couldn’t tie her own shoes or read a clock. And I could never figure out the stupid game where you hopped from state to state on the blacktop outline of the U.S. because the rules kept changing. One day it was “don’t step on the orange states” then it was, “don’t step on the states that start with a vowel!” But mainly it was, “Marni, what are you doing? That’s not how you play!
Elementary school had its share of rough social moments. People who look back to the simpler times and sigh must have been the cool kids on the playground. When you are the square peg, no matter how many adults supposedly love your “pegginess” you generally feel like crap. I used to fall asleep every night berating myself for my daily social faux pas until I cried. So . . . maybe it’s a fair assessment to say that I’ve always been a bit different.
And while I like to think I’ve grown smarter, stronger and more articulate with age when it comes to some things I’m still the kid who can’t figure out the hopping game. I still don’t know how to be anyone other than myself.
The difference is that now I’m 92.7% okay with it. Instead of crying over my social mishaps, I laugh. I pull the covers over my face, squinch up one eye and smack my forehead in amused disbelief. Then I pull out my laptop and imagine what would happen if one of my characters said a similar thing only worse!
My awkwardness, the thing I always thought would hold me back, has actually allowed me to make a living doing what I love.
I’m a square peg and I can’t fake it. I’m always going to want to know about heists, assassination attempts and evil genius plans. It’s the way I’m built. So if any of those things make me “morbid” (characterized by or appealing to an abnormal and unhealthy interest in disturbing and unpleasant subjects) well, okay.
But what other people see as an “unhealthy interest in disturbing subjects” I find fascinating. And I will always choose to be intrigued instead of bored. So to all my fellow pegs: hang in there. At some point you’ll look at that stupid round hole and realize that slinking down with the others actually sounds pretty dull.
So before I leave this blog and find some other way to procrastinate on my research paper (The City Built on Gold: The Boredom Story. I mean the “Ballarat” story . . .) I want to wish my sister a very happy birthday. I thought this shout-out might make up for the fact that (as my brother so elegantly put it) I’m stiffing her again this year. But maybe not. Oh will you look at that! I’ve got to go.


A Tad Bit Delayed . . .

Hey everyone!
I know  . . . world’s most unreliable blogger. I could have shared about my adventures in Thailand, Cambodia and Australia. But instead I jealously hoarded them so that I can stick them in my novels and no one will say, “Wow, Marni! Way to be original. Not.”
But I think I can safely fill you guys in on some of the things that have been going on in my life. Since I last posted I won a Meg Cabot fiction writing contest! Which really means that I won one of my favorite books: The Boy Next Door. I know, most of my friends snicker at my deep love for romance novels but this one is not to be missed. Although I was more excited about submitting a short story then the prize. See, I don’t tend to write short stories or anything under 1000 words. Not because I’m a snob. I think short stories are fantastic! It’s just that I tend to fall in love with my characters. And then I don’t want to leave them after less than ten pages!
That’s why I write novels—because I’m not good with goodbyes. 
And speaking of novels . . . I am officially done with my manuscript for Invisible. It is now in the very capable hands of my editor, Megan Records. Now hopefully she’ll love it, tell me that I am a writing genius and that it is perfect just the way it is. Fingers crossed, everybody! 
But the best part about finishing a novel is starting the next project. Which is kind of funny because when I am halfway through a book I want nothing more than to be finished. I get so fed up with spacing out during class thinking, “Oh what if she breaks up with him and then . . . oh, no. Never mind. What if she gets in a fight and then . . . what was that Mr. Allen just said? I have to map a torus? Uh . . . how do I do that again?” 
The editing stage is the most brutal because that’s when every single sentence is under intense scrutiny as I try to weed the good stuff from the . . . not-so good stuff. Advice to future authors: get someone you trust to look over your stuff. It’s amazing how many expressions I’ve used that turn out not to be expressions at all. Just words I’ve mangled together.
So, yes, turning in the book feels fantastic. I’ve been celebrating with episodes of Modern Family. Hilarious! But mainly I love that now I am free to work on whatever I want. If I get an idea at one in the morning I don’t have to feel guilty about firing up the laptop. The funny thing is that I never thought of myself as a workaholic until I came on this study abroad program. And now two days without Internet feels like an eternity. It’s embarrassing to admit but I have become the girl who checks her Facebook page first thing in the morning. *Shakes head in shame.*
But back to my news! I will be attending the Willamette Writers Conference 2011 from August 5-7th and to make matters even more exciting . . . I’m going to be on a panel. Or giving a speech. Or something. I’m not quite clear on the details. But I will be there and I can’t wait to see my conference friends.  To be honest, I’m really looking forward to returning stateside. Australia is great—don’t get me wrong. But they don’t eat apples and peanut butter here. Seriously. They have apples. They have peanut butter. But they can’t seem to put the two together.
And I’m sorry but any country where they eat vegemite needs some serious help. 
Beyond the food differences there is also something of a language barrier. You might think that they speak English but that’s not exactly true. For example: flip-flops are called thongs here. Week one I saw a hotel sign that read: No thongs allowed! I stared at it for a full five minutes just wondering how they would a) check that rule was followed and b) how they would enforce it. Sorry, ma’am but my underwear detector revealed a G-string. You’ll have to come with me. 
Australians also call bathing suits “togs” which sounds like a shoe if you ask me. This led to a great deal of confusion with my host family when I first arrived. I guess they aren’t used to American’s asking why they would have to wear shoes in the pool. But I’ve got the hang of it now. Brekkie for breakfast. Avo for afternoon. Mozzie for mosquito. Anything they can abbreviate, they will.
But I have to admit . . . the Australians I’ve met have been warm-hearted wonderful people. So maybe this country has more going for it then oceanfront property and sandy beaches.
Anyhow, my life right now . . . looking pretty good.
And I’ll try to be a better blogger.

Best Day of My Life!

Hey everyone!

I finally got myself a blog! Well, I guess technically I already had a blog. But with this one I can add photos and do all sorts of fun stuff that my blog at LouderThanWordsBooks didn’t want to let me do. For those of you who read the latest in my life on that site: have no fear for I shall be updating it with the posts I have here. You just may be left without the photos. Which means that you should all travel over here and join me at the blog that is sure to be full of all sorts of fun and excitement.

So due to my blog related frustrations lots of exciting things have happened to me that I didn’t post. Stuff like getting to see Tamora Pierce in Portland!

Okay, so I have been hooked on her books since elementary school and I was a little concerned that I’d see her and think, oh, you were so much cooler in my head (insert sad sound effect here).
But I was not disappointed in the least. Turns out Tamora Pierce is even funnier in person than I had hoped to imagine. Hooray! She gave really entertaining tips to writers. My personal favorite was when she admitted to using multiple baby books to help name her characters and then suggested that people create their own fake covers for them. I’m sure if I started carrying around a baby naming book with me at Lewis & Clark College my friends would sit me down for a very serious conversation. Awkward.
So after listening to Tamora Pierce discuss fantasy I got to test out life as a zombie! That’s right: a zombie. I happened to be downtown on the day that Portland was taken over by the undead (commonly known as the Zombie Walk). I didn’t plan on joining in but much to my surprise I recognized a handful of them and before I knew it my face was covered in blood and I was groaning in pain and limping like  . . . a zombie.
Clearly I was ferocious.

Never try to keep a zombie away from her soy mocha frappachino! The baristas at Starbucks were totally cool about serving a member of the undead too. They just nodded and asked how my essay had turned out and what I had to work on that week.

Now jumping on the fast forward button of everything you have missed . . . I just turned 21!

And no I did not go to a drinking establishment the second I became of age to legally consume alcohol in the U.S. It seems sort of silly to go over the top with the drinking for your 21st birthday. Isn’t that essentially saying, I am so excited to drink anywhere I want that I’ll chug it down until I never want to do it again! Woohoo!

Not really my style.

Actually, I spent my birthday weekend curled up in bed with a bag of homemade cookies my cousin sent me and a romance novel from my mom. Best. Birthday. Ever.

And then the next weekend I went out for a lovely night on the town with some friends.

Does it look like I tried to apply lip gloss on a moving subway car? Because that’s what I did.
So with the excitement of authors, zombies and a girly drink called a Mackenzie Rose (I ordered it because the first name is that of my protagonist and my middle name is Rose. It seemed meant to be!) you’d think I’d be ready to wind down this blog post.
But wait! The best is yet to come!
I get to work with the fantastically wonderful editor Megan Records and my novel AWKWARD will be released Spring of 2012. In the meantime I am working on the sequel and trying to concentrate on schoolwork. Can I just say that it’s really hard to focus on writing essays for English classes when all you can think about is how the dream you have wished upon way too many stars (And birthday cakes. And clocks at 11:11) is FINALLY COMING TRUE!
Erg, James Fenimore Cooper why must you taunt me so!

Anyhow, I want to take a moment to thank you. I’m guessing that if you are reading this it is because you want to know what is going on in my life/ care about me. And I really appreciate the support. Writing, confronting the blank page, is never easy even on the best of days. Knowing that people believe in me takes a lot of the scariness out of what I do.

And on that note I should get back to studying!

Much love,