Category Archives: Writing

What I Couldn’t Tell You . . . Until Now!

Posted on by
2

Hey everyone,

So, erm, some of you may know that I have trouble keeping my own secrets. Especially if it involves something simultaneously embarrassing and hilarious. For example, the way I single handedly broke the showers in the girls locker room at college. The water temperature knob popped off into my hand. Twice.

Did I mention that the second time I turned the place into a freaking sauna?

Accidentally.

And both times I had to drip over to the front desk, teeth still chattering after scuba diving in the pool for three hours, to request some help from the maintenance department. Fast.





That particular story made it around the family gossip lines in roughly eight hours.

So it was really hard for me to keep my big mouth shut when I received an email from KTeen that included my cover for AWKWARD.


But now that it’s been cleared . . .

I love it. The first time I saw it I was camping at Lamington Plateau (in Australia) but I had escaped to the nearby resort to reconnect with civilization. My homesickness was catching up with me and getting hit with a few days of sleepless nights didn’t help. So I was ready to hand over my bank account for some Internet time and when I saw my book cover sitting in my inbox . . . well, I freaked. I think I showed it to everyone who worked the reception desk. Of course when a girl suddenly gasps, starts muttering “oh wow! It’s here! Oh my god!”, laughs at herself and then does a bizarre happy dance with a MacBook perched on her lap . . . you generally want to know what happened. The Aussies were very excited for me.

My first instinct was to forward it to every single member of my family. But if I had done that I would have been receiving emails from the couple who used to hire me to dogsit (yep, dogsit, best job ever) about how much they loved my cover. Within 24 hours. And even though I wanted to share my secret with the world, I was under strict instructions to keep it underwraps.

I don’t know how spies don’t crack under the pressure of keeping so many secrets. I’d make a truly awful one. I’d probably return from a top secret assignment, call up my mom and say “Guess what? I stopped a nuke from entering Pakistan today. From now on you can call me Marni “Non-proliferation” Bates. Or maybe: Bates. Marni Bates. Okay, gotta run. The Department of Homeland Security is calling me. So needy.”

Yeah, it’s a good thing I never pursued a life of secrecy. Or crime. Or accounting.

I managed to keep it a secret but that didn’t stop me from doing a lot of really embarrassing happy dances (in private). This book cover made my three book deal feel real to me.

My first YA novel is going to be released in the spring of 2012 and this is the fantastic cover that the outstanding marketing department from Kensington created. This is the image I can think of when I describe AWKWARD to other people.

The part that may never cease to amaze me is the name written on the bottom left side . . . yeah, that’s me!


Craziness!


But I have to say . . . it feels absolutely fantastic!

More later,

Marni

Houston, we have Marni.

Posted on by
Reply

Hey everyone,

So . . . I’m in Houston! And so far I’ve been having a wonderful time in Texas. I haven’t actually done all that much yet, primarily I’ve been riding on the back of my cousin’s scooter to bookstores and coffee shops. I really missed reading in Australia, especially because when I am in Portland I regularly go to the library, check out five novels and then read them over cheap Thai food. I now associate romance novels with Pad See Eew noodles. Yum!

But recently I associate everything with hopping on a scooter since that is Abbie’s preferred method of traveling. At times this makes me feel Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday.

My cousin has not let me drive yet. But that slightly manic grin looks identical to mine.

When I do not feel like Audrey Hepburn, however, I feel like the Random Girl from Bourne Identity. I’m sure she has a name, but let’s be honest: no one really cares what her name is since she’s only in the first movie before she winds up dead. Her role is just to look hot and play Jason’s love interest while he tries to discover himself. Yawn. I think it would have been great if she had asked him for a few minutes in a bookstore. Given all the time they spend using various means of transportation, a good book would have come in handy . . . I’m just saying.

“I don’t need money, Jason. But that half-priced bookstore over there looks awfully good . . . meet up in five minutes?”

Back to my point. Sometimes on the scooter it feels like we are in a massive chase scene as we speed down long stretches of highway with the wind slamming against my face. It’s a lot of fun. Then we hit a small pothole and I clutch even tighter to my cousin and do my very best not to “Eeeep!” shrilly in her ear.

Since I have always (not so secretly) wanted to be a badass, I’ve been having a great time seeing Houston this way. I just haven’t done too much writing lately. As in . . . virtually no writing lately. And I’d be tempted to say “time to buckle down, Marni!” in my most serious you’re-in-big-trouble voice except . . . Meg Cabot’s book ABANDON comes out in stores today.

You know what that means . . .

I’m not going to be sleeping tonight!

Seriously, I do not know how to quit reading a good book. It’s so hard for me to “find a good stopping place” the way that my Grandma suggests when she catches me sitting in the bathroom at 2am during family vacations. I only know of one good stopping place. The end.

But this means that I’ll blog about it quickly and then I’ll get to work.

Maybe . . .

More later,

Marni

Goodbye Australia! Hello Texas!

Posted on by
Reply

Hey everyone,
I am officially on vacation in beautiful Australia! I took my last college final of the semester yesterday and now have one last day at a gorgeous ecolodge in the Glasshouse mountains to relax. Best of all, though, I am officially done with science! It’s a tad bit lowering to admit but one of the reasons I chose Australia for my study abroad program was because it would fulfill my science lab requirement.
To be fair, I really didn’t want to take that at Lewis & Clark College. That would involve me sitting in a classroom listening to someone ramble about things that would most likely end in osis or otics that I would find difficult to pronounce, challenging to spell and impossible to remember. See, I like the idea of being a well-rounded individual. That’s why I chose LC in the first place. It’s a small, liberal arts college that promised to transform me into a smarter, more articulate version of my high school self. Sold.
           
But then I actually had to take science and math classes. Suddenly I was all for maintaining my edges. Who needs to be well rounded, really? I mean, when was the last time that knowing the Pythagorean Theorem proved handy during, say, a classy dinner when you were wanting to impress somebody? It’s not like you can casually work it into the conversation.
Me: Oh you know, A squared plus B squared equals C squared, that’s what I always say. My mantra for life. Oh, what was that, Holly? What are my plans for the future? That’s rather Nostradamus-esque of you, now isn’t it?
Yeah, I think not.
Anyhow, my last final has been taken and my science requirement has been fulfilled. I also know my class schedule for next semester.
Art and Culture of Japanese Tea Ceremony
2D Drawing
Great Ideas in Physics
Senior Seminar on Henry James with The Incredible Rachel Cole
It’s going to be grueling because I could be taking walk/jog three times (seriously, that’s a class) but as long as I had The Cole, yeah, I don’t stand a chance. All of my really smart friends were crying over it last year. As in, they showed up to our Brit Lit class and one of them would say, “I had a complete meltdown in her office. She handed me some tissues” while the other girl nodded as if that were perfectly normal. Then again, English Major #2 would usually console English Major #1 by saying, “oh yeah, I’m going to see her after class today. That’ll definitely happen to me too.”
???
Horrifying! Especially since they were studying Nathaniel Hawthorne and from what I’ve heard he is significantly more fun than Henry James. Then again, I’ve heard that every author in the English language is significantly more fun than Henry James. Not that I’m nervous or anything. I have merely accepted that this class will crush my soul in the best of ways and have decided to more on.
Speaking of moving on . . . this will probably be my last post from overseas! I am headed to Houston, Texas next to stay with my cousin for an undetermined amount of time. I am very excited about this. One of the first things I will have to track down is Thai iced tea. I don’t know what is wrong with Australia in this respect. They are significantly closer to Thailand. There are Thai places all over the fricking place. Yet, none of them offer my favorite beverage.
Australia is weird.
But now that my time here is coming to a close, I have to say there are parts of my journey that were absolutely phenomenal. I think my person highlights were the week long Aboriginal immersion camp where I actually created my own, ahem, garment for the traditional dance night, the week at Heron Island where I felt like I was in a snow globe except instead of glitter I was surrounded by iridescent fish . . . and (on a less profound note, perhaps) my week at Arundel House in Sydney where I got to hang out with some seriously great Aussies.
I’ve also collected some pretty amazing embarrassing moments from this trip. They will make excellent fodder for future books, I’m sure. Plus they have given my fellow classmates plenty to tease me about throughout our journey. The worst was when I got distracted while cooking and decided to pan-sear my pre-made ravioli instead of boiling it. I’ll never live that mistake down. Then again, it has gotten me out of cooking duty a time or two.
So who is laughing now!
Actually, they are. At me. Still.
But back to my point. I’ve had some great times in this wonky country and I think I will find myself missing it, especially when Portland is wet and freezing cold. Since Portland is almost always wet and freezing cold, I may find myself reminiscing more often than I expect. In any case, I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the stunning beauty of this country as well as the outrageous niceness of most of the people I’ve met here. From bus drivers in Brisbane, to bartenders on Heron Island, to college students in Sydney—everyone has been great.
It’s definitely been an experience. But I will admit, I’m ready to have more adventures in Texas where I can actually get cell phone reception. And go to libraries. And buy books without bankrupting myself. And talk to people without this stupid time difference tripping me up. Oh, and use the INTERNET without crashing the system!
So . . . you could say that I’m ready to go home. 
But despite all of that: Australia, you will be missed.
More later,
Marni

Back to Nature

Posted on by
Reply

Hey everyone,
Okay, don’t get me wrong; I love Heron Island. It’s absolutely stunning here with waters streaked with teals and royal blues. Plus have I mentioned the sea turtles? Yeah, that’s not going to get old anytime soon.
But as great as it is to go on a night snorkel expedition hyperaware that a shark might appear at any second, I think I’m poorly equipped for island life. I love the Internet—Facebook, Twitter, Gmail . . . it’s all too great for me to ever permanently hole up on an island where twenty minutes of access costs three bucks. Plus, I’d go broke. Oh, and I’d have to take a two hour long ferry just to access a library. Thanks, but no thanks.
I’ve never been one of those “back to nature” people. I find it ridiculous to mourn for the good ol’ days that were never that good in the first place. Who really wants to give up having a flush toilet? For a short while, okay, not a problem. But that’s only because you are getting an “experience” that will “build character.”
Although when was I ever lacking in character? Common sense, perhaps. But character? I don’t think so.
I remember back in high school when I went on an eight-day school sponsored hiking trip. It was hell. My “buddy” had a crappy attitude so she dragged her feet and whined about everything. Her pack was too heavy, her feet were sore, her legs were tired even the trees were stupid. She made my Jewish grandmother look like a novice at complaining—not an easy task. But the worst was yet to come. While I was out purifying drinking water for the group, she was supposed to learn how to make a tent out of found objects and a tarp. Except this particular girl had nonexistent listening skills. So I returned with water to discover that everyone else knew how to create a shelter except my partner. Then it started to drizzle and everyone was too busy fixing their own tents to help me catch up. That’s when the rain kicked into high gear. I spent the night shivering uncontrollably, soaked to the point of pruning, while my “buddy” told me at great length about how hot Halle Berry looked in tight leather pants in Catwoman. Not a topic I had initiated or wanted to hear about, actually.
All of this, mind you was after my nosebleed and before my twenty-four hour solo “adventure” where I sat alone in the woods eating raw Top Ramen and trying to think like the transcendentalists. Mainly what came to mind was this: hmm . . . the trees sure look beautiful. Is that profound? Nope, not really. Horribly cliché, actually. Man, this sucks. Crap, I’m supposed to be meditating or connecting with nature or something. Ohm . . . ohm . . . ohmy god, when will this end!
I was so damn happy to get home it’s entirely possible that I cried. Opening the refrigerator was akin to a religious experience. Fresh salad has never tasted so good.
For the record: I do appreciate nature. Oregon is one of the most beautiful states in the U.S. because you get to enjoy each season to the fullest before the next one kicks in. That’s probably why I find it bizarre the way that Australia stays in a perpetual summer. That might be slightly inaccurate, scientifically speaking. I could look it up but that seems like a waste of my Internet time. My point is that even when it rains, the overall temperature isn’t all that cold—nothing compared to Portland. Which, at times, is fantastic. Scuba diving in Washington in the winter . . . it leaves a lot to be desired.
So as a place to go for a relaxing week off, I highly recommend Heron Island—especially if you are short on character. Snorkeling with a shark should fix that pretty quickly. And it can be nice to get away from the Internet and just disappear. Although if you are like me, three days into it and you’ll find yourself willing to fork over any amount of cash to Brett the bartender in exchange for time online. Three dollars for twenty minutes suddenly sounds generous. I’m only slightly embarrassed to perpetuate the stereotype of the Internet obsessed American tourist. Mainly, I enjoy chatting with Brett and the other locals every time I inevitably return (in twenty minute increments) to extend my time. They mock but they also seem to think I’m a good kind of crazy, so I’ve got that going for me.
And what is everyone else on my program doing as I write this? Studying for the exam we have tomorrow that’s worth twenty-five percent of our grade. I have every intention of doing the same later. After I post this online, concentrate on my latest work in progress, go snorkeling and procrastinate. But, you know, I’ll get to it. Eventually.
More later,

Marni

Heron Island!

Posted on by
Reply
Hey everyone!
Okay, so here is the latest Marni update. I am currently on Heron Island and loving it despite one truly hideous ferry ride where I hurled not once but eight times. According to my friends my lips were chalk white and I looked like death zapped in a microwave for thirty seconds. Thankfully, I’m much better now—although dreading the ride back. On the plus side, because no one wanted to disturb me while I slept off my seasickness I now have an entire dormitory room all to myself. This is truly wonderful and not a luxury I take for granted.
But back to Heron Island. This is honestly one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.
I still can’t believe that I’m getting school credit for being here. Let me describe what I did today. I woke up around 6:30, ate a delicious breakfast with my friends and headed straight to the beach. We all read and relaxed, looking up at intervals to stare in awe at the ever-changing water which is streaked liberally with teal and royal blue. In the morning light the beach glows peach and the gray clouds only made the whole scene more dramatic and picturesque. I swear to you it’s like standing in a postcard. We had our lecture for the day on reef ecology at 10 o’clock only to take a “tea break” at 10:50. Then the real work did begin. We broke into groups, plotted out a research project (checking out the biodiversity of corals in three different zones on the reef flat) put on our water suits and began collecting data.
Now normally I would complain about being forced to do science. But since my group was really good about letting me focus on my strengths (like coming up with all the puns for our presentation) I actually had a good time. It also helps that I am at the Great Barrier Reef! My friends saw some little reef sharks and I saw a manta ray, electric colored clams, shock blue starfish, spotted sea cucumbers and oh did I mention the green sea turtle hatchlings!
Let me back up for a second. We picked the perfect time to come to Heron Island since all the hatchling turtles are making their run for the ocean (not an easy task with all the silver birds and crabs waiting to snatch them up for breakfast, lunch, dinner or snack). It’s both tragic and beautiful. We cheer on these turtles and stand near them flapping our arms to scare off any birds that get too close. Then we watch as they get picked off right before our eyes. Still, last night we all went for a walk on the beach and a whole group of sea turtles were suddenly surrounding us, scrambling for the waves and crawling over our feet in the process. It made me feel gigantic in comparison to these delicate hatchlings and yet humbled at the same time. These guys are facing down serious adversity and at least 90% of them won’t make it to adolescence. But each one is so determined to make it into the waves that they make you believe it’ll be the one to beat the odds. This also makes it even more heartbreaking when a bird snatches them up right in front of you.
As for the rest of my day: just working on the project and eating dinner. I might do some writing in my room . . . or I might not. I have successfully plotted out a lot of my current work in progress so that’s a small success.

My novel plans . . . cool, right!
I feel like I’m on vacation right now. I’ve also been asking all sorts of great questions that might find themselves worked into a novel down the road. The funny part is that a UC group of students are also here are they are working significantly harder. Poor saps. Of course, we LC kids think it’s hilarious that every time we see them they are working and every time they see us we are enjoying another “tea break.”
What else . . . well, the snorkeling here is fantastic. I’ve only been once so far but that will be rectified tomorrow. Lots of fish to be seen and hopefully some sharks too. There have already been a few shark sightings (the variety with teeth not just the little reef guys I’ve already seen) but apparently they are not really a danger. I just need to avoid cone shells, which sting you if you pick them up. Did I mention they kill you in roughly fifteen minutes and that there is no existing anti-venom? Yeah. Our first day here we had a lecture on everything deadly and dangerous. Derek must have noticed our nervous expressions because he finished all calmly by saying “I’m not saying this to freak you out.” To which all of us thought: yeah, well, you succeeded anyway!
But it’s not so scary. To be honest everything here is so freaking gorgeous that you forget about the potential for danger. And as long as I don’t do anything insanely stupid I’ll be returned to the US in mint condition.
So this update is coming to you courtesy of the resort that is on the island. Internet access costs three bucks for twenty minutes so I was careful to write this blog out beforehand. I am also probably not going to be in contact with you guys again before my return to the mainland on Saturday. So think very good thoughts for my ferry ride back.
More later,
Marni
P.S. I was going to send this last night but I didn’t want to get lost on the island in the dark with only the light of my iPod to guide me. I am choosing to ignore all of you out there snickering. I’m glad I tried though because I went out on the beach and the stars are absolutely stunning here. There is no pollution to interfere with the view. I could see bioluminescent jellyfish bobbing onto the shore too. Just beautiful. 
P.P.S Internet here sucks. What else is new? Pictures will be added soon though!

Nora Roberts, Julia Quinn, RWA, WWC . . . and Some Good Ol’ Fashioned Jealousy

Posted on by
Reply
Hey everyone!
So I feel like I am on vacation. Even though I am on a college study abroad trip. Maybe this feeling of freedom is because:
  1. I am done with my ten-page paper. Officially.
  2. I have been going to the library regularly and checking out fun books!
  3. I am done with my homestay!
Don’t get me wrong, my homestay parents were nice—we just weren’t the best of fits. And it feels so much better to rely on myself! If I want to stay out at night drinking tequila in a pub . . . that is my call. Okay, so I don’t usually want to spend my time (and money) that way. It’s still an option.
Just like curling up in the library giggling over romance novels is an option.
Speaking of which, it’s almost time for the RWA conference! For those of you who don’t know what this acronym stands for . . . shame on you!
The Romance Writers of America Conference is one of the few places where you can be walking along, checking out all fun looking books on display when BOOM!
Nora Roberts.
And then when you turn around, ostensibly so you can mouth, No way. That’s Nora Freaking Roberts! Oh. My. God. I’m geeking out! without her noticing, who do you see?
Yeah, Julia Quinn.
And, okay, I have never been to the RWA conference so I cannot say that I’ve actually had this experience. Sadly, I won’t be going this year either. I am going to be too busy finishing my work in progress in my hometown to make it. But I am going to try to read every book up for a RITA this year.
http://ht.ly/4mzNS
It’s actually probably for the best that I am not going this year. Not just because I would spend way too much money on books and would then want to drive into writing a romance novel of my own. See, I have a feeling I would try to talk to Julia Quinn. Which sounds great in theory because she seems so nice in all of her interviews, except um . . . she went to Harvard. And then she decided, hey, I could be a doctor! even though she had majored in Art History. But being Julia Quinn (aka crazy smart and talented) she got into Yale Med School. Did I mention that she was writing romance novels during this time?
Yeah.
I think I might get an inferiority complex if I stand too close to her.
There are some people like ahem, Julia Quinn, who are so intelligent and successful that it’s impossible not to be a bit in awe of them. Especially as I consider the classes I am registering for next semester. I’m planning on taking Fundamentals of Movement (a theatre course), Great Ideas in Physics (supposedly an easy math course) and Art of Japanese Tea Ceremony. I am not kidding—that is actually offered at my school. And, okay, I am also taking a senior seminar course on Henry James with Rachel Cole, the hardest English professor at Lewis & Clark.
But Julia Quinn could do all of that in her sleep. And write two bestselling novels on the side. Not that I’m jealous or anything.
Oh, wait. Yes, I am!
Unfortunately, my silent reaction to most bits of exciting news is: but why couldn’t I do that?
I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m a spoiled brat. I’m genuinely happy when others succeed—most of the time. It’s just . . . come on! One of my Australian friends told me that her cousin was sitting in first-class when her plane hit some turbulence. Since she’s a nervous flier she was freaking out and just happened to be next to a super attractive doctor who happened to be super sweet and he happened to hold her hand. Then he happened to check up on her the next day.
You know where this story is going, right?
And as we sipped our Starbucks I couldn’t help wondering, why does stuff like that never randomly happen to me? I fly on airplanes! I’m . . . relatively charming!
But here’s the truth: I would not have been freaking out on the plane. I would have been grinning and trying to decide whether plane crashes were too hackneyed and cliché now thanks to Lost. Plus I would not be assigned a seat next to a super hot doctor. I end up next to jewel smugglers who show me pictures of what they looked like a few months ago when someone was paid to beat them up. This sounds super cool but actually . . . kinda creepy.
But I would take a jewel smuggler any day over someone who just sits there in stony silence. Awkward.
But I have a point here!
Okay so the plane example isn’t ideal because it’s not like the cousin accomplished anything besides potentially meeting her soul-mate (according to my friend). I get really jealous when other people are successful in ways that I covet.
Like Emma Watson.
I know that it is ridiculous for me to resent her for getting the role of Hermione Granger especially since 1. It’s not like I auditioned, 2. As an American without a British accent there’s no way in hell I would have been chosen, and 3. She plays the role really well.
But I wanted it. With every fiber or my elementary school heart, I wanted that role.
And that spark of jealousy, well it can make me a bit competitive at times.
So when I read that Meg Cabot wrote a book in 8 DAYS, I thought, challenge accepted!


Luckily, I have a very supportive mother who provides excellent wake-up calls. I believe her words were, “good luck, honey! On your best days you only write how many pages? 12? Okay . . . well, no pressure.”
You might be wondering why I am blogging about this. But the truth is that even though I have a book deal and an agent and a really fantastic life . . . I still compare myself with others all the time. Most of the time I wonder why I can’t be as productive as (blank) who never does marathon romance novel reading events.
But sometimes at school I get this weird feeling that I have to undermine my success. Especially since writing an autobiography is usually seen as an act of vanity. To be fair, they do require the assumption that someone will find your life interesting enough to read it. Plus, it’s hard not to sound narcissistic when it really is all about you! Autobiographies tend to make life complicated when you don’t want other English majors saying: why does the talent-less hack have the book deal? Why isn’t it me!
Not that they say it . . . to my face.
So I’m stuck between the land of Braggertyville and Modestlandia. And while nobody likes the people from Braggertyville (you know the type, the ones who still tell you their SAT scores) it’s just so tempting. Plus Modestlandia can get rather bland.
But then I think about going to the RWA and being surrounded by writers I view with the same reverence some tween girls attach to Justin Bieber and . . . I feel so out of my league.
What does one actually say to Julia Quinn (if one can get her mouth to work properly, of course)?
Um . . . I think you’re amazing! In a non-stalkery way, of course! Not that I would be opposed to stalking you. I bet you’re quite stalkable. It’s just that I don’t do that. Unless it’s on Facebook. But that doesn’t count, right?
Please, please, never let me ever say anything like this in real life!
I find jealousy interesting because everybody feels it but most people can’t admit it. And if you reach a certain level of success you are expected to never be jealous again.
But it totally doesn’t work that way!
I am in awe of people who know how to cook. People who go to the supermarkets and don’t end up with a serious case of visual overload, standing in the produce aisle, staring sightlessly at the yams and pondering the many ways it could be botched. I envy people who are able to follow instructions on the back of packages without feeling the need to revolt. 
The practicalities of life . . . yeah, I’m not so good with them.
And, okay, I’m sure I could handle myself just fine at the RWA conference. But I’m fine with meeting Julia Quinn next year. Hopefully, by then I won’t be quite as intimidated by her success.
The crazy thing is that soon I will be the intimidating one at a conference. Super agent Laurie McLean and I will be on two panels at the Willamette Writers Conference this year in August.
I just got the confirmation email.
 Bagging the Elusive YA – with Laurie McLean    Friday 10:30 – 12    

Win Big at Willamette – panel with Laurie McLean and Grace Ledding            Saturday 8:30-10

So hopefully everyone will be able to make it.
A long, meandering post but that’s what happens when I finish writing a ten-page research paper!
~Marni

What I did in class . . .

Posted on by
2

Hey everyone!
So . . . I’m not the best of students. I have a condition that I like to call Critical Marni. It’s sort of like the point of critical mass. I think. I never really got that concept, actually.
Here’s how Critical Marni works:
During a super boring lecture on plate tectonics and wind erosion I can only pay attention for roughly an hour. Because after that my brain refuses to absorb the information. It says, “Really? You think this is interesting? Hah! You know what would actually be interesting? Waking up with the ability to shoot noodles from your fingers.”
I have hit Critical Marni State and from this point onwards . . . yeah, nothing is going to stick.
But that doesn’t mean that I’m not working. I just shift to the more imaginative side of my life. And I’m very proud when I produce this:
That’s right! I plotted out A NOVEL.
During class . . . when I should have been paying attention . . . oops?
Except what I did was so much cooler than anything my teacher could have possibly told me. I produced a work of art! And maneuvered my way out of a potential blockage situation. But that’s not going to help me when I have to deal with my first two finals this Tuesday.
And even though everyone in my family is telling me to just concentrate on school right now that is way easier said then done. I love to create. So while I enjoy learning in school the truth is that I’m tired of balancing my passion for writing (aka my career) and my schoolwork. So I have decided to graduate from Lewis & Clark College a semester early.
This would never have been possible if it weren’t for the number of AP tests I took back in high school. I’m glad I get to cash them in for college credit now. I never thought I would want to graduate early. I figured that I would want to postpone joining the adult working world for as long as humanely possible. If I didn’t have my writing, I would probably feel that way now. It’s terrifying to face the world without the safety of the education system.
I think the R-rated puppet musical Avenue Q sums this up perfectly with the song ‘What do you do with a BA in English?’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t48-3-Ew9mY 
But I’m feeling ready. So one semester and a month from now I will have graduated from Lewis & Clark. I will be able to create outlines for novels whenever I feel like it. I will be free from mandatory lectures and (best of all) finished with finals. Au revoir, homework! Unless I decide down the road to go to grad school for a PHD, which I don’t really see happening for me.
So in order to graduate ahead of schedule I have to take math, art, P.E. and my senior seminar class on Henry James. And I have to pass all of my classes in Australia. Which means I should probably open this book instead of staring at it in horror.
I am definitely looking forward to being finished with research papers.
No more procrastination though. Starting now.
Well, maybe thirty minutes from now.

~Marni

Odd Duck

Posted on by
2

Hey everyone!
It might surprise some of you to hear that I’ve gotten a reputation in Australia for being morbid. At first I thought it was unwarranted. I’m an absolute optimist. I’m the girl on the bus who merely smiles as the baby shrieks—and not because I’m imagining ways to shut her up. I choose to be entertained rather than annoyed. But my fellow classmates know that if we in any way discuss the seedy underbelly of society, I’m going to have some questions.
Okay, a lot of questions.
They thought it was funny when I asked our first lecturer if selling Aboriginal artifacts on the black market has the potential to make some serious cash.
They smiled indulgently when I asked our tour guide about how brothels were organized at the mines.
They shook their heads when I asked which creature in the mangrove swamps posed the greatest safety hazard.
And they traded knowing looks (and a few groans) when one particularly brave lecturer said that he welcomed all questions. No need to raise hands. Just shout them out.
So . . . yes, sometimes the screaming child and I both need to keep our mouths shut. I openly admit it. But I only ask questions when something captures my imagination. Once that happens I just have to know. Even if it means asking museum curators how the security of certain objects could be compromised.
I know! I just can’t help it.
So yesterday when I asked the museum expert if the Aboriginals wore anything particularly comfortable, it wasn’t meant to be awkward. It was just that . . . no way could dangling a humongous shell to cover up certain bodily bits be comfortable. Which explains why it was ceremonial and not for lounging. I understand now.
But apparently while I was pointing to the piece that had ahem, captured my attention, a member of my group pointed out the obvious:
“Marni asks the most awkward questions.” Beat. “I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud.”
To which my teacher responded, “Oh no. That’s what all of us were thinking.”
Which . . . okay, fair enough. My questions are weird. I get it.
And I wasn’t mad or offended when I heard about it. I’m sort of used to it, to be honest. I’ve heard a similar sentiment expressed throughout my life.
Except back in high school . . . and middle school . . . and elementary school I desperately wanted to blend in. If I could have swapped my life for someone else’s I would have done it. Absolutely. I probably wouldn’t have wanted to trade back. See, no matter how hard I try to act normal, I have always been the odd duck.
I’m the square block that looks at the round hole and says, “Um . . . not to be critical, but you know you’ve got the wrong piece, right?”
Even in elementary school. I was the one kid who couldn’t tie her own shoes or read a clock. And I could never figure out the stupid game where you hopped from state to state on the blacktop outline of the U.S. because the rules kept changing. One day it was “don’t step on the orange states” then it was, “don’t step on the states that start with a vowel!” But mainly it was, “Marni, what are you doing? That’s not how you play!”
Elementary school had its share of rough social moments. People who look back to the simpler times and sigh must have been the cool kids on the playground. When you are the square peg, no matter how many adults supposedly love your “pegginess” you generally feel like crap. I used to fall asleep every night berating myself for my daily social faux pas until I cried. So . . . maybe it’s a fair assessment to say that I’ve always been a bit different.
And while I like to think I’ve grown smarter, stronger and more articulate with age when it comes to some things I’m still the kid who can’t figure out the hopping game. I still don’t know how to be anyone other than myself.
The difference is that now I’m 92.7% okay with it. Instead of crying over my social mishaps, I laugh. I pull the covers over my face, squinch up one eye and smack my forehead in amused disbelief. Then I pull out my laptop and imagine what would happen if one of my characters said a similar thing only worse!
My awkwardness, the thing I always thought would hold me back, has actually allowed me to make a living doing what I love.
I’m a square peg and I can’t fake it. I’m always going to want to know about heists, assassination attempts and evil genius plans. It’s the way I’m built. So if any of those things make me “morbid” (characterized by or appealing to an abnormal and unhealthy interest in disturbing and unpleasant subjects) well, okay.
But what other people see as an “unhealthy interest in disturbing subjects” I find fascinating. And I will always choose to be intrigued instead of bored. So to all my fellow pegs: hang in there. At some point you’ll look at that stupid round hole and realize that slinking down with the others actually sounds pretty dull.
So before I leave this blog and find some other way to procrastinate on my research paper (The City Built on Gold: The Boredom Story. I mean the “Ballarat” story . . .) I want to wish my sister a very happy birthday. I thought this shout-out might make up for the fact that (as my brother so elegantly put it) I’m stiffing her again this year. But maybe not. Oh will you look at that! I’ve got to go.
Sincerely,

Marni

A Tad Bit Delayed . . .

Posted on by
2

Hey everyone!
I know  . . . world’s most unreliable blogger. I could have shared about my adventures in Thailand, Cambodia and Australia. But instead I jealously hoarded them so that I can stick them in my novels and no one will say, “Wow, Marni! Way to be original. Not.”
But I think I can safely fill you guys in on some of the things that have been going on in my life. Since I last posted I won a Meg Cabot fiction writing contest! Which really means that I won one of my favorite books: The Boy Next Door. I know, most of my friends snicker at my deep love for romance novels but this one is not to be missed. Although I was more excited about submitting a short story then the prize. See, I don’t tend to write short stories or anything under 1000 words. Not because I’m a snob. I think short stories are fantastic! It’s just that I tend to fall in love with my characters. And then I don’t want to leave them after less than ten pages!
That’s why I write novels—because I’m not good with goodbyes. 
And speaking of novels . . . I am officially done with my manuscript for Invisible. It is now in the very capable hands of my editor, Megan Records. Now hopefully she’ll love it, tell me that I am a writing genius and that it is perfect just the way it is. Fingers crossed, everybody! 
But the best part about finishing a novel is starting the next project. Which is kind of funny because when I am halfway through a book I want nothing more than to be finished. I get so fed up with spacing out during class thinking, “Oh what if she breaks up with him and then . . . oh, no. Never mind. What if she gets in a fight and then . . . what was that Mr. Allen just said? I have to map a torus? Uh . . . how do I do that again?” 
The editing stage is the most brutal because that’s when every single sentence is under intense scrutiny as I try to weed the good stuff from the . . . not-so good stuff. Advice to future authors: get someone you trust to look over your stuff. It’s amazing how many expressions I’ve used that turn out not to be expressions at all. Just words I’ve mangled together.
So, yes, turning in the book feels fantastic. I’ve been celebrating with episodes of Modern Family. Hilarious! But mainly I love that now I am free to work on whatever I want. If I get an idea at one in the morning I don’t have to feel guilty about firing up the laptop. The funny thing is that I never thought of myself as a workaholic until I came on this study abroad program. And now two days without Internet feels like an eternity. It’s embarrassing to admit but I have become the girl who checks her Facebook page first thing in the morning. *Shakes head in shame.*
But back to my news! I will be attending the Willamette Writers Conference 2011 from August 5-7th and to make matters even more exciting . . . I’m going to be on a panel. Or giving a speech. Or something. I’m not quite clear on the details. But I will be there and I can’t wait to see my conference friends.  To be honest, I’m really looking forward to returning stateside. Australia is great—don’t get me wrong. But they don’t eat apples and peanut butter here. Seriously. They have apples. They have peanut butter. But they can’t seem to put the two together.
And I’m sorry but any country where they eat vegemite needs some serious help. 
Beyond the food differences there is also something of a language barrier. You might think that they speak English but that’s not exactly true. For example: flip-flops are called thongs here. Week one I saw a hotel sign that read: No thongs allowed! I stared at it for a full five minutes just wondering how they would a) check that rule was followed and b) how they would enforce it. Sorry, ma’am but my underwear detector revealed a G-string. You’ll have to come with me. 
Australians also call bathing suits “togs” which sounds like a shoe if you ask me. This led to a great deal of confusion with my host family when I first arrived. I guess they aren’t used to American’s asking why they would have to wear shoes in the pool. But I’ve got the hang of it now. Brekkie for breakfast. Avo for afternoon. Mozzie for mosquito. Anything they can abbreviate, they will.
But I have to admit . . . the Australians I’ve met have been warm-hearted wonderful people. So maybe this country has more going for it then oceanfront property and sandy beaches.
Anyhow, my life right now . . . looking pretty good.
And I’ll try to be a better blogger.
~Marni

Thailand and More!

Posted on by
1

Hey everyone!

So . . . I survived finals. It was touch and go there for a minute when I went into denial and started reading romance novels instead of studying. It was a romance novel marathon event! The good news: I now want to read almost everything Lori Foster and Alesia Holliday have ever written. The bad news: not an easy feat to achieve while abroad in Thailand.

Oh, did I forget to mention that I am in Thailand right now. Because that is exactly where I am!

Goodbye Portland. Hello Bangkok!

It only took me three plane rides and roughly two days spent in transit but I made it! I’ve been having a wonderful time too since the weather here is gorgeous. For the first time in months I’ve been able to go outside without shivering or getting soaking wet. Leaving behind an Oregon winter is no hardship if you ask me. But the best part of the journey has been spending time with my family members. I come from a tight-knit group of people who show their love by giving each other a hard time. Still, there’s something sweet about hearing the same teasing jokes from my uncle.

I guess I should explain that the official reason I am here is because my brother Jordan is marrying the love of his life, Katie. I couldn’t be happier to have Katie as a sister-in-law.

The happy couple!

Oh, and see those adorable tigers? I will be petting them later today! This is only one of many reasons I am loving Thailand. In fact I’m entertaining the notion of moving here down the road. After all I could live on cheap Thai food and write my novels quite happily. But I have to go now because I leave for Chiang Mai soon. I’ll post more about my adventures later!

Sincerely,
Marni