Hitting the books!

Hey everyone,

I am hard at work on a brand new book project! It’s super exciting, and a little nerve-wracking, and…well, a whole lot of fun! I think this picture kind of says it all…

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See all those books? Yeah, that barely scratches the surface. I’ve got half a dozen books on a variety of subjects sitting at home. I don’t think I studied this hard when I was in college! Which just goes to show that I should’ve stuck to my guns and majored in spies, thieves, and assassins years ago. (P.S. Colleges should totally hand out  B.A. degrees in badassery. I stand by this statement.)

I’d tell you more about the project, but then I’d have to…

*scans Life Magazine’s Most Notorious Crimes in World History* *gulps uncomfortably*

Let’s leave that to your imagination, shall we?

So right now I’m trying to read ALL the books and write ALL the words and do ALL the responsible adult things, like, y’know, wash laundry before I run out of clean clothes. I also have some super exciting news that I will be sharing with all of you soon! (Really soon. As in, maybe tomorrow!)

But there ain’t no mountain (of things on my To Do List) high enough to keep me from gettin’ to yooooouuuu!

If you send me a letter or a postcard, I will totally respond to it. In fact, I got a PO box in Portland specifically for you!

You just need to mail it like this:

Marni Bates

PO Box 86183

Portland, OR 97286

Cool, right?!

On that note, I think I hear some hardened criminals calling my name. It’s time for me to get back to work!

Awkwardly yours,

Marni

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By Popular Request…

Hey everyone!

So a bunch of you awesome people have wanted me to sign your books. Just for the record: I totally want to do it for you! I even got a PO Box to make it possible!

The logistics involved are definitely daunting though. You have to send a copy to my PO address and then I have to ship it back…

And the last time I sent a package through the US postal service it reached the intended destination…three months after her birthday.

Good thing there weren’t cookies in there. That’s all I’m saying.

So yesterday in order to fix this problem, I knowingly journeyed somewhere that makes me lose my mind. Seriously. The last time I went there four of my friends had to forcibly remove me from the premises.

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I know it’s ridiculous, but I instantly morph into a preschooler when I’m at Sticker Planet. And the one thought running through my mind becomes: MINE! ALL THESE STICKERS MUST BE MIIIINE!!!!

That’s when my friends usually try to remind me that I need to save my money for the Romance Writers of America Conference in Atlanta (SQUEE!!!! I can’t wait!) and that I don’t actually need fifteen packages of stickers.

And then I remember that since these stickers are obviously an essential part of my writing process, they are technically tax deductible.

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Fake moustache stickers: $5

These expressions: priceless.

The cashiers were like, “Um…do you want to join our valued customer program or something?”

And I said, “HAHAHA…NO! Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how dangerous that would be?!”

That’s when they traded looks and edged further away from the crazy girl who thinks the words “stickers” and “dangerous” belong in the same sentence.

But c’mon…how great is this:

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It’s Jane! And no, sadly, my video trailer will not include all these awesome stickers. But a future one totally will!

And who will look ridiculous then, I ask you?!

Okay, probably still me.

But I did it all so that I could buy these fun labels for you guys!

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This way you can have an autographed copy of my books without a logistical nightmare. If you want me to send you one (or more!) I just need you to follow a very simple procedure:

1. Email me at MarniRBates@gmail.com or send me a letter addressed like this:

Marni Bates

PO Box 415

Los Angeles, CA 90078

I know it can be scary sending an email to a stranger with your address in it, so I totally understand if you’d prefer to go by mail. The important thing is that I get an address to send it to!

2. Write your name clearly so that I can personalize it for you.

3. If you don’t want me to address it to you, let me know! I can just sign my name if you’d rather have me do that.

4. Wait for me to send it to you!

That’s it! That simple. And this offer totally applies to my friends outside the US too! *Waves  enthusiastically to all my awesome fans in Hungary and Brazil*

And now I better start packing! I’m going home tomorrow so that I can give my mom a big ol’ hug on Mother’s Day.

But there will still be a vlog post on Sunday and Monday (probably), so stay tuned!

~Marni